Hello again everyone,
Twelve months ago I was pretty confident I was creating the last in a long-running series of collections of my Top Tweets of the Year.
I joined Twitter in September of 2010, and that December I made a Top 10 of 2010, followed by a Top 11 of 2011, a Top 12 of 2012, a Top 13 of 2013 & Top 14 of 2014, a Top 15 of 2015 & Top 16 of 2016, a Top 17 of 2017, a Top 18 of 2018, a Top 19 of 2019, a Top 20 0f 2020 (With some COVID-19 Honourable Mentions), a Top 21 of 2021, a Top 22 of 2022, and finally a Top 23 of 2023, which I billed at the time as the final one in the series for the very good reason that I quit Twitter.
It had stopped being fun a long time earlier, and I really only hung on as long as I did because I enjoy the series and wanted to finish it out if only for my own enjoyment in years to come.
I spent the first seven months of 2024 putting way too much time into Reddit and Facebook posts, but they did not quite scratch me where I itched. There is something deeply satisfying to a writer to have a microblogging channel to dash off quick thoughts.
In August I finally joined Bluesky —please follow me there if you have an account!— which at the time was not a particularly thriving Twitter substitute, but I just wanted to be able to write something when the mood struck me in short little bursts, enjoying as I did so the arbitrary character limits that enforce some discipline into what you say and how you say it.
For most of 2024, this new channel has been a very quiet and sleepy affair, but since the US 2024 General Election new waves of people fleeing Twitter have created a critical mass transforming Bluesky into the alternative that looks like it is going to work, and the last couple of months have actually been a lot of fun! It feels like pre-Elon Musk Twitter right now, and I love that.
So, having created a proper replacement for my Twitter account, why should I not continue the series I have enjoyed all these years?
I know joining in August means I am drawing my selections from less than half a year’s worth of content, so I suppose the quality this year will be a little watered down, but I don’t think enough people actually read this thing besides me where I’m going to get complaints. For me, they have become a little like a diary, offering a window into what I was saying and doing and thinking about over the years. If I only do a Top 10 or Top 12 for 2024 to account for the shortened year, I think I’m going to regret it next year when I do a Top 25 of 2025, and then 2024 is going to stand out like a sore thumb for the rest of my time I do this series, whether that be long or short.
No, I’m going to do a Top 24 of 2024, because it makes me happy, and that’s the point.
Anyway, here’s the 24 I chose after a little humming and hawing over roughly 400 options. I appreciate there’s three more days left in the year. I promise not to say anything better than this between now and 2025 where I would then regret finalizing this list too soon. Enjoy!
My Favourite 24 Posts of 2024
August 2, 2024
I know this place isn’t Twitter, but Twitter isn’t Twitter anymore either. Maybe this thing will one day be even better. Wouldn’t that be shockingly nice?
(My first post on Bluesky remains my most popular to date. I’m told Bluesky doesn’t have an algorithm, but they must have some kind of ‘new account’ bias, because this little comment of hope for the future got 49 likes, five comments, and a retweet —repost? I’m still picking up the new terminology…)
August 14, 2024
We’re going camping this weekend. The forecast is calling for some light rain, and my wife doesn’t want to get wet. She is sending me links to increasingly good tarps. I mean, GOOD tarps. If she murders me and buries me in the woods one day, I hope she wraps me up in something like this…
August 16, 2024
I went to buy a tarp last night at Canadian Tire. Think about that for a minute. Do you know how many places the tarps might be in a store like Canadian Tire where half their offerings are tarp-activity adjacent? I finally asked someone, “Where are the tarps?” It turns out they have a tarp aisle.
(Believe it or not, this wasn’t the only tarp talk I did on my Bluesky channel. I couldn’t tell you why this topic so captured my imagination in the first days of my new social media channel. I guess it felt good to write about something so ephemeral and ordinary again? I enjoy these two about an equal amount, so I’m highlighting them both. There were other candidates. You’re welcome for not including them too. I should also say for my non-Canadian audience, Canadian Tire is a department store with automotive, hardware, sports, camping, fishing, leisure, and housewares sectors. Probably half of what they sell, you could argue they could put a tarp in that aisle…)
August 25, 2024
My father-in-law is going out to breakfast with a friend. My wife spots his phone is still on the coffee table as he’s getting ready to go. “You’re not going to take your phone?” She asks.
“No. God no. Why would I?” He says, genuinely mystified.
They don’t make’em like that anymore.
(I really do enjoy my in-laws. Sometimes little episodes of pleasant domesticity and family life should make these lists, especially when they speak to a person’s character in a nice way.)
September 7, 2024
“There is a medium-weight plaid jacket that every Canadian man gets at some point in the later half of his life that he then wears every autumn until the day he dies,” I muse to myself, observing a pedestrian as I drive. I then look down at my sleeve stretching out towards the steering wheel. “Oh!”
(I remember this is the first time the 300-character limit of Bluesky actually felt confining. It was 20 characters more than the Twitter limit, so for the first month I had the account, it felt like I had ‘extra’ room, but this post I really did go back and forth trying to make the full thing fit. Here’s the slightly longer version I put up on Facebook, to show what I was trying to say:
“There is a certain type of medium-weight plaid jacket that every Canadian man gets at some point in the later half of his life that he then wears every autumn until the day he dies,” I muse to myself, observing a pedestrian as I drive through the grocery store parking lot. I then look down at the sleeve of my plaid jacket stretching out towards the steering wheel. “Oh!”
I normally wouldn’t choose something that stands out at me as ‘not quite right’ for a Top list, but I thought it does make an interesting illustration of the joy and also challenge of making some things fit into the arbitrary limits.)
September 9, 2024
My wife has me proofreading something official she has to fill in. She just used the word concomitant correctly and appropriately in a technical context. From this I deduce:
1) I probably don’t actually need to proof this.
2) I married a smart woman.
3) I should up my vocab game…
(It is always worth saying given the opportunity that I am very proud of my wife. I should also explain here that as she is not on Bluesky, I do not refer to her by name. That’s just one of my rules about social media.)
September 29, 2024
I handwashed my dishes from 18 to 38. For the last three years –and hopefully for the rest of my life– I have had a dishwasher. I love loading and unloading the dishwasher. This is not a chore. This is an anti-chore. Every time I spend 5 minutes doing this, I know I’ve actually gained time.
October 16, 2024
My trivia team went to an alternate, quieter pub trivia night this evening. Attendance was thin, so we split into two teams, still coming in first and third.
I spent most of my 20s and 30s being great at pub karaoke. If my 30s and 40s are eras of dominating pub trivia, I’ll wear it with pride.
October 25, 2024
One of my quirks when I write work copy? I highlight what I’m happy with in green, what still needs polishing in yellow, and what needs to be done from scratch in red. My word docs look like fireworks to anyone looking over my shoulder, but that’s okay. I love watching the project go solid green.
(A fun thing about this post? I had a journalist reach out to me, thanking me for saying this. I don’t quite know why it resonated with him so much, but his comment made it worthy of this list.)
October 27, 2024
I took a nap. (A rare treat.)
I dreamt I decorated my desk at work for Halloween, including a rather realistic fake spider. Alas, it attracted a number of other spiders, either to fight or mate. I could not tell the difference through their frustration.
It ruined my nap, to be honest with you.
October 31, 2024
My wife asked me to buy a baguette today for dinner, ideally in the morning in case they’re sold out by workday’s end. I’ve now walked into the office with a baguette for the first time I think ever, & I have to tell each coworker in turn this is not related to a Halloween costume. It’s just bread.
November 7, 2024
My two eldest nephews have started collecting nickels. Next time I visit them, I’m going to take a few dollars worth of nickels out of a bank, and we’re going to play a game with a map of the world where they can win nickels (and learn geography. Gotta start’em young!).
November 12, 2024
My wife loves Pizza Pizza’s garlic dipping sauce. We make our own pizzas at home, but we can’t replicate the sauce. Today on my lunch break I bought eight of them. The clerk nodded in a ‘this isn’t normal but I’m super busy and you’re the only one not ordering food on the lunch rush’ kind of way.
November 16, 2024
While driving near the Humber a dog crossed the road in front of me, followed by another one. I slowed down to get a good look at what I thought must be someone’s stray pets. Two very healthy looking coyotes looked back at me with a, “What’s your problem?” expression on their faces.
#Toronto
(I included the hashtag to make it clear where this happened. I imagine there are a few Humber rivers in the world. My wife and I now own a home on the banks of the one that flows through the west end of Toronto.)
November 22, 2024
It’s been a great few days in San Diego. Last night my coworkers and I went out to celebrate. An Irish coworker decided to call it a night early, and he went around to each of us to offer, ‘An Irish goodbye.’
That was the least Irish goodbye I’ve ever seen.
November 22, 2024
I wonder to what extent Jazz musicians look at Christmas the way chefs look at the brunch service?
No matter their skills or artistry, they’re kind of getting railroaded into some very specific, simple things where originality will not be rewarded beyond some strict preset limits.
December 1, 2024
I admire standup comedy as an art form, and the writer in me thinks I could probably write a decent, ‘tight five.’
My wife, upon hearing this ambition years ago, said, “I say this with love: You are not damaged enough to do standup comedy.”
She meant it as a compliment. I think about that a lot.
December 5, 2024
A dump truck parked outside my condo. Among my dog’s many fears is a true terror of diesel engines. She was awakened by the sound of her living nightmare. She went and hid under the kitchen table until the truck was gone. I get it. Monsters never think to look under the table. That’s just science.
December 7, 2024
“Why don’t you cut your toenails?” She asks.
“I do! Twice a year,” I say.
“Do it more often!” She says.
“What if I’m outdoors barefoot & need to climb a rockface?” I ask.
“That never happens!” She protests.
“It only has to happen once, and then the habits of a lifetime will pay off!” I enthuse.
(From time to time my wife has suggested my social media posts paint her in a bad light while casting me in a good one. Of course that is never my intention. I hope this little window into our friendly banter makes it clear, sometimes —perhaps even often— I am the one worthy of derision.)
December 13, 2024
We’re trying to empty out our freezer so we can stock it up again for all the cooking we will do when company comes for the holidays. My task today was to eat all of the leftover potato-leek soup I made and froze back in September.
It was too much soup.
I’m more soup than man now.
Pray for me.
(I later replied to this post with an addendum:
My wife tells me I could have eaten the soup across two sittings. I misunderstood the assignment…
Which i think takes this post from good to great in terms of memories I will enjoy reflecting upon in the future. I thought the soup was at risk of being thrown out if I didn’t eat it before she got home. She was very confused why I was walking around, clutching my belly and groaning, and why there wasn’t any leftovers in the fridge…)
December 15, 2024
Yesterday at a party we were rolling a 20-sided die to choose drinks (it was quite a party). Someone won a butterscotch schnapps & spiced rum shot. To me that’s a Burt Reynolds. That’s not what the bar called it. Has the shot been renamed because Burt is gone and young people don’t know him anymore?
December 19, 2024
I’m told the Murder Hornet has been eradicated in the US?
I think we’ve all seen that horror movie before: As the credits roll, we pan and zoom over to a grave, closer and closer, then bam! A grasping hand emerges from the soil, promising a sequel. (If the first Murder Hornet made enough money).
December 19, 2024
I just said, “Brachial tubes.”
“Bronchial tubes,” my wife corrected me, catching me dead to rights in the wrong.
“Beg pardon. Bronchial. It’s like brachiosaurus versus brontosaurus,” I quip.
I feel like coming up with that off the cuff should count as being right the first time.
December 23, 2024
I woke up this morning with a cut on one of my knuckles. I’m trying to figure out what happened. So far, my working theory is I’m a sleepwalking bare-knuckled boxer. I enjoy the idea that somnambulant me has edgy, athletic hobbies. Good for him.
—
And there we go! The 14th addition to a series that I thought would only have 13 entries. It’s far from the best, but it’s probably better than some of those early ones from back when Twitter only had a 140-character limit to its tweets. You give me the room (and perhaps a decade to grow as a writer), and hopefully even a long list drawn from only five months of content will stand up to the earlier, shorter stuff.
To anyone who has read all the way down here, from me and mine to you and yours, Happy Holidays and Happy New Year! All my very best, and I hope to see you again in the future.
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